put down that hot dog, sir. you have lost the right to imitate gay sex acts with carnival food. don’t even think about reaching for that pair of zeppoles.
at least your little hot dog burlesque show was only leading people on unintentionally. i don’t think the same can be said of your phony marriage equality support statement. i’m ok with you being a cock tease. a human rights tease, not so much.
“I think same sex couples should be able to get married.” - B.O.
the operative word here is ‘should’. of course, he always could do something to make it happen (and he actually has the power to). but would he? no, as he’s made sure to clarify, he won’t. because this is just his ‘personal opinion’, which apparently has no bearing on his actions, like the militant vegan you run into at outback steakhouse. it’s essentially a useless nugget of trivia, no more significant than his spotify playlist. at least his spotify playlist didn’t infuriate me (although really, TWO darius rucker songs? that’s waaaaay too much hootie, not enough blowfish).
indeed, he still supports states deciding on whether or not there should be equal rights, just like back in the day when states got to decide stuff like if africans were property. some so-called libertarians like to believe that if smaller governments are the ones banning equality, it’s somehow better than the federal government doing so. this is not a farmer’s market - local does not neccesarily mean better. supporting local fascism is not the same thing as buying local produce (unless it’s the park slope food co-op).
right now, only 6 states support marriage equality. that means obama only effectively supports marriage rights for a measly 12% of american queer folks, which doesn’t seem exactly fair for the other shafted 88%. perhaps they could distribute the rights more equally - taking inspiration from the three-fifths compromise, each queer american could get 12% of the rights that come with marriage, regardless of which state they live in. the only question is, which right to choose? the right to visit your dying partner in the hospital? the right to get your immigrant partner citizenship? choose wisely, or you might get stuck with something useless like getting your partner’s veteran’s benefits (these days i think it’s just 2 aspirin and one of those ’hang in there’ kitten posters).
regardless of obama’s statement’s actual regressiveness, the wanky liberal establishment has gone nuts over it. if it wasn’t already clear that this was a campaign season ploy to solicit donations, a top campaign fundraiser exhuberantly announced that it would make his work “immeasurably easier raising money from LGBT donors and progressives in general.” indeed, 1 in 6 of obama’s top donors who raised 500k or more are gay. hey, with so many same sex couples finding adopting a child elusive under obama’s ‘states rights over gay rights’ policy, that just means more disposable income to donate! as that classic hip hop idiom goes, ‘fuck you, pay me’!
who cares if financially-strapped lgbt homeless shelters are shutting down? throw some more money at president predator drone. at least his wall street backers get results from their campaign bribes. alas, john travolta isn’t the only wealthy homosexual getting denied a ‘happy ending’.
on a final note, to liberals who will still ignore all this and insist the prez’s statement is somehow ‘brave’, remember that it is essentially the same thing dick cheney said back in 2004. so congrats, we now have a president who’s as progressive and courageous as dick ‘blood for oil’ cheney was eight years ago.